It’s that time of the semester again: finals week. The week where we all just aren’t ourselves. But after being exposed to this ferocious week for a few years now, I’ve come to the conclusion that this week is different from student to student, and the students can be divided in the following categories.
1. Stressful Idiot
This person doesn’t sleep, either eats too much or too little, randomly bursts into tears or blind rages, and keeps constantly complaining about how their lives suck during finals week. They tweet and write facebook status about every single thing they do during the day. For example: “Going to take a nap now, hope I can sleep so I can pull an all nighter #ihatefinalsweek” or “2 down, 3 to go! #finalsweek”.
This person never really performs very well because the stress comes in the way of good studying. So they stress over the exams and then later stress over how awful their grades were. To cut a long story short: Drama Queens.
They also dress in their worst clothes ever during finals week, because finals week makes people oblivious to what the hell you are wearing. Say hello to dirty sweatpants and really distasteful t-shirts!
2. Stressful Perfectionist
This is like the stressful idiot except somehow more annoying. They don’t post on facebook, but rather on BBM statuses things like “Oh my God this is, like, my last spring semester at uni!” or “I’m gonna faaaaaail!”.
And we all know they never fail.
Beware of ever getting into a project group with one of those, because then you will have to cope with late night panic attack phone calls and annoying accuracy in your work. If you have a project due in two weeks, you finish it in two days and then spend the remaining time showing it to the professor and editing it, then showing it again…etc, because screw all your other subjects.
3. Cool Cucumber
This person is awesome. I urge you all to become this person. They know their work, they have it organized and they don’t stress over it. If they have to stay up all night working, they’ll just stock up on good snacks and energetic music without complaining about it on social media. They will tweet about regular things and make jokes.
And they won’t be on facebook, because facebook sucks.
4. Denial King
This person is a bit like the cool cucumber, but not because they are intelligent and organized. It’s because they are too dumb to grasp the fact that finals are around the corner. They live in la-la land until they show up one day and find out it’s the day of a final. Then they proceed to put their noses in a book for five minutes before the final, throw up, and possibly faint.
5. The Disappearing Magician
This person simply disappears. You don’t see them, hear from them or know anything about them, because they are quietly studying at home. The best thing about them is zero drama, but the worst thing is that they miss out on all the gloomy atmosphere on campus.
I won’t lie to you, these people are all annoying one way or another, even the cool cucumber (because you get jealous that you aren’t them). But each one has his perks -except for the stressful idiots and the denial kings.
So, tell me, which finals week student are you?
PS. I’m a cool cucumber. You know it.
